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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25696321">"When we get out of here I'm going to draw a bunch of dicks on your cast"</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tumblruserpailylove/pseuds/tumblruserpailylove'>tumblruserpailylove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wynonna Earp (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Best Friends, Dicks, Gap Filler, Humor, I promised dicks okay, Light Angst, canon adjacent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:48:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,985</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25696321</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tumblruserpailylove/pseuds/tumblruserpailylove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wynonna Earp &amp; Nicole Haught</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>94</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>"When we get out of here I'm going to draw a bunch of dicks on your cast"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wynonna poked her head around the corner with an eyebrow arched on her forehead curiously. When she saw that Nicole was now awake, she smirked slightly and slid around the corner until she was able to lean into the frame of the wall dividing the living room of the Homestead from the kitchen.</p>
<p>“What do you want, Wynonna?” Nicole’s groggy voice lifted over the soft volume of the tv that she was staring at blankly.</p>
<p>“Soooo…” Wynonna took a step closer to the couch, sliding both feet together slowly to bring her to her new position. She bounced on her toes with both hands tucked behind her back and a wide smile on her lips. “Remember when we were in the lab?”</p>
<p>Nicole rolled her eyes and slowly turned her head to look at her friend. She stared at her with annoyance for a moment, trying to decipher the code that Wynonna always spoke in, before she let out a sigh and motioned to her left leg that was stretched out along the couch completely immobilized by her cast “Yes, Wynonna, I recall that day very vividly.”</p>
<p>“And we were saying all that mushy stuff because we both thought you were going to die?” Wynonna took one more step, brought her feet together, and smiled brightly.</p>
<p>Nicole gave a nod. She fought off the annoyance she felt and let a tiny smirk lift at the corners of her lips. She knew Wynonna had genuinely meant all the things she had said. She also understood that they would probably never talk about them again and if anyone tried Wynonna would deny it all. With that in mind she simply shrugged it off as if it were no big deal so as not to spook her best friend away from whatever was currently going on “I was in a lot of pain but I think I remember the gist of it.”</p>
<p>“Well do you remember the promise I made?” With one more step and slide Wynonna was standing at the end of the couch next to the foot of Nicole’s casted leg.</p>
<p>Nicole’s face softened a little bit at the mention of Wynonna’s promise. It was not as though her best friend was incapable of keeping a promise. In fact, Wynonna was pretty good at coming through on her word when it really counted. What warmed her now was that her best friend was reminding her of the things they had said and the promises made. She was willingly bringing it up which Wynonna never did. That meant that the things they had said to one another had been genuine. She smiled very slightly at the thought and nodded once more “I remember you told me you’d see me at home.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, that” Wynonna looked around the Homestead and waved the notion off quickly because she didn’t care about that at all. She then swung her hand out from behind her back excitedly and presented a huge ziplock bag full of markers for Nicole to see “I was talking about when I promised to draw dicks on your cast!”</p>
<p>Nicole couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her lips. She had no idea why she had thought her best friend had anything else in mind. In fact, she was almost sure Wynonna had been thinking about all the different types of dicks she would draw since making that promise to her. With amusement painted on her features, Nicole nodded toward her fully casted leg and gave a motion for her friend to go right ahead.</p>
<p>Like a kid in a candy shop, Wynonna beamed with excitement and quickly, but gently, moved to position herself under the leg. She lifted it slowly, gritting her teeth in apology when Nicole hissed in pain, and moved to sit on the couch. She brought the leg gently to rest across her lap before setting the bag of markers next to her. As she began to dig through for the right color, she glanced up at Nicole with a bright grin “This is going to be so much fun.”</p>
<p>“You realize this isn’t permanent, right? The cast will eventually come off” Nicole let out a sigh of a laugh before turning her eyes back to the tv across the room. “That’s the only reason I agreed to this.”</p>
<p>“Oh shut up, Haught. I know there’s a small part of you that’s excited about the prospect of having dicks all over you” Wynonna snickered to herself then gasped and pulled out a marker “Oh! Lime green alien peen!”</p>
<p>Nicole shook her head in amusement but didn’t say anything more. She knew Wynonna well enough to know that any input given would just drive her best friend to be as obnoxious as possible. Instead of protesting or making rules about what was allowed to be drawn she kept quiet and focused on the movie. Besides, they were just cartoon dicks. It’s not like Wynonna was a secret artist who could draw a meticulously detailed penis, right?</p>
<p>Comfortable quiet fell around them. Wynonna hummed softly as she drew on Nicole’s cast. The only other sound in the room was the barely audible movie playing on the tv. After a little while, Nicole felt her eyelids getting heavy. She was still taking quite a few pain pills and she could feel the relaxing and warming effects of those pills coursing through her veins. She yawned and shifted her focus from the tv to her friend “How’s it going, Dickasso?”</p>
<p>Wynonna tittered and glanced up at her friend “Solid word play, Haught.”</p>
<p>“You’ve rubbed off on me” Nicole mused with a grin.</p>
<p>“Rubbed off” Wynonna snickered in amusement.</p>
<p>“Okay, I get it, everything is literally a dick joke to you right now” Nicole rolled her eyes and laughed because her best friend was incorrigible and she would never change. Honestly, that was one of Nicole’s absolute favorite things about her.</p>
<p>“Check it out” Wynonna sat back and motioned to what she had just finished. When she realized it would probably be impossible for Nicole to see her artwork with how they were positioned she rolled her eyes at herself and pulled out her cellphone. She snapped a few pics then turned the screen to proudly show her best friend “Isn’t that the best alien peen you’ve ever seen?”</p>
<p>Nicole laughed as she took the phone and pulled it closer to herself. She gave a slight shake of her head in pure amusement as she studied the art “You know, for once, I don’t mind this unsolicited dick pic.”</p>
<p>“I am saving all of these and even when the cast is long gone it’s memory will live on forever via random late night tasteful dick pics” Wynonna laughed softly to herself as she dug around for a new marker.</p>
<p>“I will print them and make a dick shrine in the closet. I am sure Waves won’t mind” Nicole snickered as she set the phone down near her hip so that Wynonna could use it again whenever she was finished with her next dick.</p>
<p>“We should totally get matching dick tattoos” Wynonna lit up at the idea. She whipped her head up to look excitedly at Nicole, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging slightly open, as her head started to nod quickly “Oh, yes, please! Will you please get a matching tattoo with me of a huge dick?”</p>
<p>“No” The word came out with a laugh. The idea was ridiculous and Nicole knew that Wynonna was just being a smart ass. “I’d actually rather have the phoenix coming out of my ass.”</p>
<p>“A dick-shaped phoenix?” Wynonna tilted her head to the side and arched an eyebrow at her suggestion.</p>
<p>“How about absolutely no tattoo on or around my ass” Nicole snickered at the thought.</p>
<p>“But you’re not totally opposed to a, you know, best friend tattoo?” Wynonna mumbled the last three words under her breath and tried to play it off by casually focusing back on whatever dick she was currently drawing.</p>
<p>“Not opposed to what?” Nicole pushed herself upright slightly and eyed her friend carefully.</p>
<p>Wynonna just shook her head as if it were no big deal. She lifted one shoulder in a shrug to brush off the subject and pretended to be really focused on what she was drawing.</p>
<p>“Wynonna” Nicole’s tone dropped to it’s typical low, even scolding as she said her best friend’s name in the same way she always said it wherever she was trying to get the woman to spit out what she really meant.</p>
<p>Wynonna shook her head stubbornly as the marker she was using moved over the cast quickly and sloppily.</p>
<p>Nicole folded her arms to show she could be just as uncooperative as Wynonna. The two of them sat there in tense silence for a few moments. Neither one of them were too keen on being the one to break the standoff. Wynonna was too stubborn to admit she had gotten her hopes up and felt vulnerable that Nicole had indirectly rejected her idea even though she had barely spoken it. Nicole was too stubborn to allow Wynonna to get away with throwing a silent fit until it annoyed Nicole enough for her to give in and coax the words out of her. So they sat there waiting for the other to succumb to the mounting tension.</p>
<p>Wynonna clenched her jaw after a few minutes because she was so annoyed that her stupid best friend had somehow gotten inside her head and taught her to say what she was really feeling. She also hated sitting in silence knowing Nicole was over there scowling judgemental rays toward her. It was all too much to handle and Wynonna huffed out through her nose and finally looked up at Nicole sharply “Why are you such a puckered anus?”</p>
<p>“Why are you still an emotional infant?” Nicole snapped right back.</p>
<p>“Dude, I know we’re chicks, but we don’t always have to talk about feelings and shit! I just wanted to come hang out and draw dicks all over your leg, okay?” Wynonna threw her hands up in frustration.</p>
<p>“I’m not against that” Nicole motioned sharply toward the fact that Wynonna was doing exactly that. “You’re the one who threw an idea out there under her breath, in the most non-committal way possible, just to gauge my reaction then got upset when I didn’t hear you! It isn’t my fault you refuse to repeat yourself because you are still afraid to be vulnerable around me!”</p>
<p>“I just asked you if you wanted to get best friend tattoos!” Wynonna shouted. She wanted to get up and storm away but Nicole’s stupid heavy casted leg was holding her down and she didn’t want to hurt the woman by jerking her leg out of position so she gave a frustrated huff and sunk into the couch.</p>
<p>Nicole blinked once in surprise at the outburst. She seemed, for only a split second, concerned that Wynonna was mad at her. Then that melted away into amusement and she let out a very light, humbled sounding laugh. When she spoke it was gently, showing her best friend just how flattered she was “I would love to get a matching tattoo with you, Wynonna.”</p>
<p>When Nicole had laughed, Wynonna had sunk lower into the couch. She thought the woman was about to mock her or, worse, reject her. Instead, when she heard Nicole agree with the idea she straightened up in surprise and turned to look at her. Her face held a mix of relief and delight as she asked softly “Really? Because then you are like super duper stuck with me forever.”</p>
<p>“What aren’t you understanding, Earp?” Nicole chuckled softly and rolled her eyes at how dense Wynonna could be. “I’m all in with you, alright? I am just as excited to spend my life having you annoy the ever living shit out of me as I am to have Waverly loving me.”</p>
<p>“Barf” Wynonna fake gagged at the mushy sentiment. Her face then softened and she allowed her gaze to meet Nicole’s eyes for a split second to let the woman know that she was just as excited to get to annoy her for the rest of her life. She then blinked her eyes, shook away the lovey dovey vibe, and pointed to her latest artwork “I think you’re really going to like this one.”</p>
<p>Nicole knew Wynonna wasn’t one to linger in a sweet moment so she was all too happy to shift focus to the penis art. She sat up a bit and watched as Wynonna used her cell phone to get the best angle of the art she had drawn. She smiled to herself at the way her best friend looked in that moment. Her best friend had such a childlike enthusiasm for life sometimes and little things as silly as drawing dicks on a cast really brought it out of her. It was one of Nicole’s absolute favorite qualities about Wynonna and, if she was being honest, one of the first things she had really fallen for. It was that quality specifically that had managed to balance out Nicole’s more no-nonsense demeanor. No one had been able to break down Nicole’s stiffness quite like Wynonna had. That is how she knew this reckless crazy chick who loved sex jokes and whiskey was her soulmate.</p>
<p>“Check it out” Wynonna, unaware of the adoring way Nicole had just been watching her, proudly turned the phone toward Nicole so she could look at her art.</p>
<p>Nicole’s eyes shifted to the phone as she pulled it closer to inspect. She arched an eyebrow at what she saw and after a few seconds of thought she let out a laugh “Wait, okay, is this us drawn as dicks?”</p>
<p>“YES!” Wynonna clapped excitedly. “I knew you’d get it.”</p>
<p>“Well the red hair on one and the way the balls on the other one are a little rounder than usual kinda gave it away” Nicole nodded out of pure amusement. “I gotta say, Dicknonna’s ass is still top shelf.”</p>
<p>“Represent” Wynonna smirked as the friends shared an amused glance.</p>
<p>“And what’s that doorway thing?” Nicole’s eyebrows knitted together in concentration as she stared at the art.</p>
<p>“The back door gate to the Garden, duh” Wynonna rolled her eyes as if that should have been obvious. “Dickole and Dicknonna are about to penetrate the shit out of Eden’s back door.”</p>
<p>“Ew” Nicole let out a disgusted sigh of a laugh and shook her head at her friend “Didn't take you long to cross the line into obscene.”</p>
<p>“Come on, that was funny! Penetrate! Shit!” Wynonna emphasized each word with a gesture of her hand toward Nicole as if waiting for the woman to give her props for her puns.</p>
<p>“I get the word play.” Nicole rolled her eyes and handed the phone back to Wynonna. After a moment of thought, her brows curled together in concern again “Hey, where’s Waverly?”</p>
<p>“In the Garden” Wynonna stated nonchalantly as if that were obvious.</p>
<p>“Huh?” Nicole sat up a little straighter as her eyes widened with panic. “What are you talking about?”</p>
<p>“She’s in the Garden, Nicole.” Wynonna nodded firmly at that as she put away her markers. She zipped the bag closed then looked at her friend with a heavy sigh. When she saw Nicole looking upset, she just shook her head “We all are.”</p>
<p>“No. You’re here. You’re…” Nicole looked up and around, gesturing to where they sat on the couch inside the Homestead. “You’re here. You’re home.”</p>
<p>“I just wanted to check on you. I wanted to tell you to keep hanging on. We’re coming home, Haught. I promise.”</p>
<p>“What?” Nicole’s head was spinning now. Her voice sounded strangled. She blinked a few times quickly, trying to keep her focus on Wynonna.</p>
<p>“Wake up, Haught. Protect the Homestead. Keep it safe for us.” Wynonna’s form was now fading as the room filled up with light.</p>
<p>“WYNONNA!” Nicole called out as she woke up like a shot. She was dripping with sweat even though it was the middle of winter. Her eyes fluttered and her head swiveled in all directions as she searched for her friend. As her labored, panicked breathing slowed and she realized she was once more alone in the Homestead, she slumped down into the rocking chair where she had drifted off to sleep. She let out a sigh as her eyes fell to her leg which was still casted in plain white plaster and she felt tears immediately swell at her eyelids. She was alone again. She was still waiting for the Earp girls to come home.</p>
<p>She shifted to move her shotgun from her lap to the floor before pushing off the rocking chair with a grunt. Once standing she hopped on one foot over to the window and peeked out. It had been far too long without the Earp girls already. She was really starting to worry. She knew Wynonna liked to make a dramatic entrance but this was pushing it, even for her. </p>
<p>Seeing the Homestead land was clear, Nicole moved away from the window. She hopped over to the nearest wall and dug her pocket knife out of her left back pocket. She exposed the blade then pressed it into the wood of the door frame she stood near. She made quick work of carving a tally mark there next to all the rest of them. Once she was done she hopped back and looked at the door frame. Her head shook at all the tally marks she had amassed while waiting for the Earp girls to come home. Six weeks. It seemed like a lifetime already but she would never give up waiting. She knew they’d come home. Wynonna had promised her and Nicole knew her best friend would never break a promise like that.</p>
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